


stoned in paradise, shouldn’t talk about it

by gallaghcrs



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ......love island, Alternate Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Reality TV, Summer Vacation, jake is fucking RIPPED, jeremy/michael centric But there are other ships, no beta we die like men, yes it’s a love island au don’t fucking talk to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 12:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19394659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallaghcrs/pseuds/gallaghcrs
Summary: This was either the smartest idea Jeremy had ever had, or the most absolutely fucking ridiculous idea he had ever head.(Or, the gang goes on Love Island.)





	stoned in paradise, shouldn’t talk about it

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo hi! if this fic sounds a little familiar to you, then you might have read the fic showmance on my old account! i started it and had a lot of fun with it, but i felt like it was moving too fast and i lost interest in be more chill. but recently, i saw bmc again and also have been binging love island, so my absolute crackhead brain birthed this monstrosity. it’s definitely inspired by my old fic, but still very different. 
> 
> if you don’t know what love island is, it’s a heterosexual disaster of a british tv show where they throw a bunch of hot people in a house together and say “ok, now fuck”

This was either the smartest idea Jeremy had ever had, or the most absolutely fucking ridiculous idea he had ever had. Either way, he still couldn’t believe he was actually doing it. First of all, there was the fact that he had actually auditioned for this bullshit show in the first place — but then again, with the amount of money they were offering to the winner, plus the amount everyone got paid just to be on the show, he had to give it a shot. Yes, he may have been slightly drunk when he filmed his audition tape at three in the morning after getting entranced by an ad on TV, but he was desperate for money. Even after he got his college degree in computer science, he couldn’t find a single company that was hiring, let alone wanted to hire him. And he needed cash. Badly. 

Second of all, it was miraculous that the show directors actually picked him. Wasn’t everyone on this show supposed to be super tan and have a perfect beach body and a bad attitude? He was none of that. He was probably the opposite of everyone else on that stupid fucking beach love snow. So that led him to believe he had been chosen purely for comedic value, he’d end up being the butt of most of the jokes on the show, and he’d get voted off as soon as the change was given. But honestly? Worth it. He’d still get paid, and that’s all he cared about. Besides, he was used to being the butt of jokes in high school, he could take a little more of it if it meant not becoming homeless. 

So, he swallowed his pride and agreed officially to be on the show. He didn’t have to act, it was supposed to be natural and realistic. And once the show ended, no one would remember him anyway. Then there was the added bonus of getting to spend the summer in a beautiful beach house on an island in the pacific, so really, the more he thought about it, the more he realized it was actually a pretty sweet deal. 

It was the beginning of June when he had to take a plane out of JFK to the small airport that was stationed on the island. It was rather remote, and didn’t seem like it was the kind of place that garnered extensive amounts of tourists. He was supposed to be meeting one of the directors, Ethan Paulus, who he had spoken to before on the phone and through FaceTime, so he knew who to look for. Ethan was then supposed to drive him out to where the show was taking place, and they would immediately begin filming the first episode. 

It was a lot to happen all in one day, but to be fair, he’d had a lot of time to prepare. All of the FaceTime meetings regarding contracts and pay to make everything official had taken up a lot of time, and at this point, Jeremy was thankful the actual work aspect of it was coming to an end and he’d actually be able to start the vacation part. He wanted to say the fun part, but fun was a strong word and he didn’t know how much fun he’d actually have with a camera shoved in his face most of the time. 

But anyways. 

He picked up his luggage and met Ethan at the gate, a man with blonde hair and thick framed glasses. He was wearing a suit, something way too professional for what they were doing. “Jeremy, it’s great to see you in person,” Ethan said, pulling Jeremy in for a hug. Jeremy was stiff, unsure of what to do because he wasn’t used to people touching him, but he awkwardly brought up one arm and gently rested it on his back. 

“Yeah, you too,” Jeremy said with a nod, a bit unsure of his words, but he didn’t think Ethan noticed. 

“We’re just waiting for the other two guys’ flights to get here, which shouldn’t be too much longer, and then we’ll all head over to the villa.” 

“Wait, two?” Jeremy questioned. At the start of the show, there were supposed to be four guys and four girls. “What about the fourth?”

“He’s already here, he’s just in the bathroom.”

Oh. Great. Jeremy wanted to prolong meeting his new roommates for as long as possible, because he was absolutely sure he was going to hate every single one of them. But now he was going to have to spend about an hour sitting in the airport with one of them and having to make awkward small talk. Absolutely fantastic. 

Jeremy took a seat and unlocked his phone, absentmindedly scrolling through his twitter feed. Contestants in the villa weren’t allowed to use social media and weren’t allowed to contact people outside of the show, to prevent things that were supposed to be secrets from getting out before the show runners wanted them to. It would be a while before he’d get to use Twitter again, so he figured he’d make the most of this time. He heard Ethan chatting with someone behind him, so Jeremy turned to face the lobby and saw Ethan talking to someone he hadn’t met yet. A man with dark messy hair, black glasses, and a red sweatshirt that was covered in various patches. He couldn’t get a good look at his face, but Jeremy wondered if this was the other contestant Ethan had mentioned earlier. 

The man looked over in Jeremy’s direction, and for a few brief seconds, they made awkward eye contact. Jeremy looked away as fast he could, staring back at his phone screen until he saw out of the corner of his eye someone sitting down next to him. He looked up cautiously, realizing that it was the same man Ethan had been talking to. “Hey,” the guy said, smiling shyly. “Ethan told me you’re Jeremy?”

The stranger extended his hand for Jeremy to shake, and reluctantly, he complied, taking his hand. “Uh, yeah, that’s me,” Jeremy said shakily. God, why was he so nervous? They were all going to be on this stupid show together. 

“Michael,” he said. “You excited?”

And boom, there it was. The god awful, painfully slow small talk that Jeremy had been dreading. “Just a little nervous, I guess,” Jeremy responded. “Never done something like this before.” 

“Same. Never thought I’d be on a tv show.” 

The thing about this show is that the general goal is for contestants to find someone that they’re ultimately supposed to fall in love with, not that those relationships ever last. Jeremy, of course, wants nothing to do with that side of the show — he’s in it purely for the cash in at the end. But he wouldn’t say he’s completely opposed to finding someone he might have a nice relationship with, albeit it may be short lived. “So, you here to actually find someone?” Jeremy asked, trying to keep the small talk going. It’s better than complete silence. 

Michael scoffed, which turned into a soft laugh. “Fuck, no. I’m here to get paid and take a vacation.”

That’s a fucking relief. Maybe Michael isn’t as much of an asshole as he thought everyone on this show would be, and at least now he knows he’s not the only one doing this for what some would say are the wrong reasons. “Thank god, at least I’m not the only one in it for just the money.” 

“I’ll probably still play it up a bit though. Act like everyone else who goes on this show and say shit like ‘I’m here for love!’, because otherwise, I’d just look like an asshole.” 

Jeremy realizes now that it kind of does make him sound like an asshole if he says he only cares about the money, so he has to give it to Michael that that’s a good idea, and he should probably take notes and play into the game in the same way. Plus, if everyone thinks he’s an asshole, he might get voted off right away. And a longer time on the show equals more money. 

A new stream of people began to flood the airport, and Jeremy wondered if the final two contestants will be arriving now. A part of him actually did want them to be here now, because he was getting kind of tired of sitting around and waiting, and he just wanted to get the first day over with. The first day would be the worst — he’d be overwhelmed, lost, confused, anxious — but hopefully, after that, he’d get used to it and he’d be able to enjoy his summer away. 

A while later, two guys appeared from around a corner and started to approach Ethan, each of them dragging along a wheeled suitcase. Surely, these had to be the last two they had been waiting on. They were both good looking guys, but one of them in particular was hot, like seriously hot. Like fitness magazine level hot. He was wearing a tank top that showed off his arm muscles, he had a very defined jawline, and he had beautiful, clear dark skin. Not that Jeremy was paying attention to any of that, of course. He just happened to notice. 

There were brief introductions — he learned that fitness magazine model dude was called Jake, and the other was named Rich. He was good-looking too, with a bit of stubble, sharp eyes, and some of his hair dyed red. “I’m so fucking excited, I can’t even handle it,” Rich had said as they exited the airport. “Like, a whole summer, hot people everywhere, nothing but going swimming and drinking champagne? What a fucking life.” 

Jeremy had to agree with that, even though he wouldn’t say it out loud. 

They all climbed into the Jeep Ethan was driving, with Jake immediately calling for shotgun. Which left Jeremy to be crammed into the back between Rich and Michael. There wasn’t much space, and on either side of him he was bumping shoulders with the strangers, making him feel more and more claustrophobic as time passed. 

The drive gave him a little more insight about each of his new roommates. Jeremy didn’t say much, and neither did Michael, but he did add in a shy comment occasionally. Rich and Jake were the way louder ones, conversation seemed to flow easily between them and they never ran out of stuff to say. Jeremy was thankful, it meant he didn’t have to contribute anything and he also didn’t have to suffer in a tense silence. Win-win. 

He also learned that Rich and Jake were from the same area of Chicago, and that Jake was a professional basketball player — which explained those toned as fuck muscles — and that Rich was a tattoo artist. Jeremy felt so fucking lame next to them. What was he supposed to say if anyone asked? That he was a failure? That he got a degree and still couldn’t find anyone to hire his sorry ass? He could only hope that there’d be someone else there who was in the same boat as him. 

The location itself was beautiful. The beach was nearby and palm trees surrounded the house, as well as other tropical looking flowers. Jeremy had only seen places that looked like this in social media posts, he never anticipated he’d see something like this in person, let alone get to live there for a month. Of course, he wasn’t too fond of the whole being on TV thing, but he was damn lucky to be there. 

Jeremy and the rest of the boys were told to wait outside of the villa with Ethan, and one by one, they would be called in for their entrances individually. Rich went first walking a bit too excitedly around the bend and through a garden. “Man, I’m really getting nervous now,” Jake said, wiping his hands on his shorts. Jeremy wanted to say that he was gorgeous, that he had nothing to worry about, and Jesus Christ at least you don’t look like me. But he didn’t say any of that. 

“You hoping to find someone?” Michael asked nonchalantly. Ethan wasn’t paying any attention, more focused on something on his phone. 

“Duh, why else would I be here?”

Jeremy and Michael give each other a look, a look like, ‘Oh shit. We really are out of place here.’ Except neither of them say anything, and before they can, Ethan is telling Michael that it’s his turn to go in. 

He’s left with Jake, who had actually taken off his shirt a few minutes before, saying that he “needed to show off to the girls the best part of himself.” To be fair, Jeremy was pretty sure he’d be a little cocky too if he had a body that looked like that. “I still can’t believe this is happening. Fucking crazy,” Jake says, gesturing to the paradise in front of them. 

It’s weird having someone like Jake act like they’re friends. He’s just so...opposite from Jeremy, like the type of guy who would’ve made fun of him in high school. He’d better get used to it though, because he’s going to be living with the guy for the remainder of the summer and he’d rather not be his usual miserable self for the entirety of it. “Still wondering why they picked me,” Jeremy shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. “Honestly, I was kind of drunk when I filmed my audition tape.” 

“No way, man!” Jake laughed. “You’re probably fucking hilarious when you’re drunk, I can see it. That’s probably why you got picked.” 

“Jeremy,” he heard Ethan say, and his stomach dropped. He was next. “You’re up.” 

“Right…” he mumbled under his breath. This was it. There really was no turning back now. He gave a goodbye wave to Jake and headed off in the direction the other guys had gone, following faint voices until he came to a grand patio area. There was a kitchen, a bar, plenty of bean bags and swings, and a campfire. And then, down a few steps on the lawn area by the pool, there were four girls lined up. One of them was next to Rich, and another next to Michael. Two were alone. 

The host was standing off to the side, eyes locked on Jeremy as he approached. There were cameras and eyes on him, and he felt like he was going to sweat so much his clothes would melt straight off of his body. What the fuck is he supposed to say? 

At least the host isn’t a complete stranger — he had spoken to her before when he was picked. Her name was Rachel, and despite the cold, menacing look she put on now, she was actually a very nice woman. “Hey,” Jeremy said awkwardly, shaking her hand. His palms were sweaty as fuck, and she definitely noticed. 

“Jeremy, welcome to Island Love!” she said, gaining a small round of applause from the other contestants. “In front of you, you see four beautiful women. We have Brooke, Jenna, Chloe, and Christine. Brooke has already coupled up with Rich, and Jenna with Michael.” 

Jeremy nodded as she spoke, surveying the faces in front of him. He had watched a few episodes of a previous season, so he had a general idea of what was supposed to happen in the show. Brooke had long blonde hair and a soft expression, and she had her arm wrapped around Rich’s waist. She was quite a bit taller than him, but neither of them seemed to mind. Then there was Jenna, who had her dark curly hair half pulled up in space buns. Her hair was streaked with highlights of purple which, in Jeremy’s opinion, looked pretty fucking awesome. She and Michael were both smiling, but they didn’t seem as affectionate as Brooke and Rich already were. 

Next was Chloe, a girl with dirty blonde hair that was pulled up in a tight ponytail. She wore heavy amounts of makeup, including pink lipstick and winged eyeliner. She was beautiful, yet intimidating. And finally, at the end of the line stood Christine. She was the shortest of the girls, and had shoulder length brown hair. She smiled at him, showing her dimples. 

“So,” Rachel said, breaking the tension. “In a few moments, you will be choosing a girl to couple up with. You can choose anyone, including those who are already coupled up. But I’m going to make this a bit easier for you and ask the girls to take a step forward if they are interested in coupling up with you.” 

Silence. There was usually a dramatic pause at this point in the few episodes Jeremy had seen, but the pause continued to grow longer, until he eventually accepted that no one was going to step forward for him. Well if he didn’t feel like pure shit before, he definitely did now. 

“None of you girls have stepped forward for Jeremy?” Rachel asked, pretending to be shocked. “Jeremy, the choice is still yours. Which girl would you like to couple up with?”

He didn’t want to couple up with Jenna or Brooke, because he wasn’t in the mood to break up anyone that was already in a couple and start the show off being hated. As he scanned the line, trying to come up with a decision, his eyes met Michael’s. Michael gave him a smirk and a subtle wave. 

It was between Christine and Chloe. It was difficult to make a decision based solely on looks, because while Chloe was very pretty, Jeremy was still a little scared of her. Christine, on the other hand, seemed much more friendly. Sweeter. Plus, she was just so adorable with her rounded cheeks and the sundress she was wearing. “I’d like to couple up with Christine,” Jeremy said, trying to sound confident, but he wasn’t sure if it worked. He joined Christine in the line, standing next to her, unsure of if he was supposed to wrap an arm around his waist or stand there without touching her. He went with the ladder, because he didn’t know her at all, and she probably didn’t want Jeremy’s sweaty ass arms touching her dress. 

“I’m glad you picked me,” Christine said, looking up at him with a soft smile and softer eyes. This wouldn’t even matter in the next few days, but Jeremy felt like he made the right decision. 

Finally, it was Jake’s turn, and he looked like a fucking god among men when he walked in. Jesus Christ, why the hell did he do this? He’s nothing compared to literally everyone else in here. “Hey everyone,” Jake said confidently as he approached, giving Rachel a firm handshake and a kiss on the cheek. Dammit, why didn’t he do that? Rachel then began to give him the same spiel she had given Jeremy, and when the time came for the girls to step forward, Chloe did immediately. A few moments later, Christine gave Jeremy a sad look, her lips pursed together, and then looked away as she stepped forward. 

This was going to be a really rough summer, and he was starting to wonder how worth it the money really was. 

“You know, Chloe is definitely my type,” Jake started to say, and Jeremy thought he was safe with Christine. “But I feel like I always go after the same type, and I wanna try something new. Christine is really cute and she also stepped forward so…I want to couple up with Christine.” 

Jesus fucking Christ. To add insult to injury, Christine seemed happier that Jake picked her than when Jeremy picked her. Like, way happier. Jeremy understood though. If he was in her position, he probably would’ve wanted to be with Jake, too. 

“Well Jeremy,” Rachel began. “Since Jake has stolen your girl, you will now be coupled up with Chloe.” 

Chloe frowned, clearly disappointed. As Rachel went through the names of the new couples once again, Jeremy uncomfortably crossed his arms over his chest and turned to Chloe. “Sorry you’re stuck with me for now. Probably won’t be for too long, though.” 

“Sorry you got split up from Christine,” Chloe shrugged. 

After that, there was a whole lot of boring ass small talk which Jeremy struggled to pull himself through. Most of the newly formed couples went off alone to talk and get to know each other while trying to forget about the cameras that seemed to always be watching them. Jeremy talked for a little while with Chloe and learned that, hey, maybe she’s not as bad as he thought. She was pretty funny, in a sarcastic, bitchy type of way. When the cameras moved away from their conversation and went on to the next people, Chloe admitted that she didn’t care about finding love either, and she just wanted money and to have sex with some hot people. Really, she was a bit of a badass, it seemed like she knew what she wanted and wasn’t scared to admit it. 

Christine had also pulled Jeremy aside to talk, apologizing over and over again for choosing Jake instead. “I really didn’t think he would pick me,” Christine told him, but Jeremy brushed it off, insisting that he didn’t mind. 

“This place is about finding someone who’s right for you,” Jeremy said, almost vomiting at the absolutely corny bullshit that he was coming up with for the camera. He was such a fraud it was unbelievable. “So you should get to know Jake. Don’t worry about me.” Christine had pulled him in for a gentle hug, then wandered off to find her new partner. 

So Jeremy was sitting alone on a beach chair, looking out over the pool and at everyone talking and having a good time. He really should have joined them, but he was far too nervous to butt in on someone else’s conversation like that. He wasn’t alone for long though, because he soon felt someone sitting down next to him, and he turned to see Michael with his glasses lopsided and a matching awkward smile. “Having fun yet?” Michael asked. 

“I’m having the time of my life, can’t you tell?” Jeremy joked, making Michael laugh. Jeremy had talked to everyone so far, except for Brooke and Jenna, and it seemed like Michael was the one who was easiest to talk to. They definitely had a lot in common when it came to their personality and sense of humor. “So you’re with Jenna? She’s cute, seems nice.” 

“She’s the only one who stepped forward for me,” Michael shrugged. “But, yeah. She is really nice. We’ll stay as friends, though.” 

“You don’t see it going anywhere?” 

Michael hesitated, looking around for any cameras that could be eavesdropping. The coast was clear. “I don’t see it going anywhere with any of the girls here. I am very much gay.” 

It definitely came as a shock. Not because Jeremy was shocked that Michael was gay, he was just shocked that someone who was gay would willingly go on a show that was as heterosexual as Island Love. “I don’t think they’ll let you couple up with a dude,” Jeremy said. “I remember a while ago some girls on here tried to couple up and they wouldn’t let them because it didn’t work with the show, or some bullshit.” 

“I remember that. But I’m not going to try to couple up with any guys, I’m just going to keep friendship coupling up with the girls for as long as I can, then take my money and get the fuck out of here,” Michael explained. His expression turned a bit sad, and he stared at the ground. “I mean, I really need money. I dropped out of school and I have my GED, but it’s not getting me anywhere.” 

“Shit, man,” Jeremy sighed. “That fucking sucks. I hope it works out for you.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Michael said, leaning back in the chair. Jeremy did the same, trying to squeeze in despite the chair being made for only one person at a time. The sun was bright and shone directly into his eyes, but he closed them and let himself drift into a nap, the sound of Michael’s steady breaths soothing him in an odd way. It was something he couldn’t exactly describe. 

They both jolted up when someone across the lawn started yelling about how they had gotten a text. Jeremy knew what that meant through watching a few episodes of the show — it meant the producers had sent one of the contestants a text explaining that there was some shit about to go down. 

It was Brooke who had gotten the text, and she started to read it out loud, “Islanders, it’s time to get to know each other a little better. Please gather around the fire pit for a game of truth or dare.”

Michael and Jeremy groaned and looked at each other as if this was the worst possible scenario. Are they in fucking middle school now? Come on, truth or dare? They couldn’t have come up with anything better? Some people seemed very excited about it, and by some people he meant Rich, Jenna, and Brooke. He followed the others, taking a seat on the couch that wrapped around the fire pit in between Michael and Christine. 

“I’m going first since I got the text,” Brooke announced, standing up. On a nearby stand was a box split into one sides, one that said truth and one that said dare. “I pick truth,” she said, drawing a card from the truth side. “Do you see yourself having a relationship with the person you’re currently coupled up with?” she read. Brooke sighed and looked at Rich. “I mean, it’s still so early, I have no idea. But yeah. Rich seems really nice.” 

She smiled and sat down, then chose Chloe to go next, who picked dare. “It says you must close your eyes and figure out who is standing in front of you using only your mouth. The rest of the players will choose the other participant.” 

Chloe groaned and turned around so everyone could discuss. “I think we should choose Brooke,” Jenna suggested. Everyone looked at her, waiting for an explanation. “She wouldn’t expect us to choose Brooke.” 

And that made sense somehow, so everyone agreed, and Brooke stepped forward. “Okay Chloe, you can start now,” Jake called from the couch. Chloe turned around, eyes closed, and started kissing Brooke on the cheek. 

“It’s definitely a girl. That skin is way too soft to be on a man.” She continued, eventually finding her way to Brooke’s lips. “Oh, that’s Brooke for sure.”

“Dammit!” Brooke huffed.

“How’d you get that so fast?” Rich asked. 

“I know what her lip gloss tastes like because she let me borrow it earlier.” Fair enough, Jeremy thought. She called on Jenna next, who chose truth and admitted to calling someone by the wrong name while they were having sex. Jenna then chose Rich, who was dared to pretend to have an orgasm while making eye contact with the person to his left, who happened to be Brooke. Then, it was Michael’s turn. 

Michael approached the box and cautiously pulled a card out of the dare box. “Make out with who you think is the hottest contestant for a full forty-five seconds.” Everyone went quiet, looking around at each other, wondering who in the hell Michael was going to choose. 

“Well, I have a timer ready on my phone,” Chloe said, holding it up for everyone to see. 

Michael looked incredibly nervous. Sweat glistened on his hairline. He walked towards Christine. Christine? Jeremy didn’t see that one coming, and neither did everyone else apparently. But at the last second, Michael turned to the right, and leaned in towards Jeremy. 

One second, and Michael’s lips were on his. 

Two seconds, and Jeremy was backpedaling, thinking but I’m not into guys. 

Three seconds and Michael’s hand is on his thigh. 

Four seconds and their noses are pressed together. 

Five seconds and Jeremy is pulling away, panicking, looking at Michael like he’s shocked and betrayed and angry because goddammit he didn’t want to kiss him, he just did it. “You guys still have forty seconds,” Chloe said, breaking the silence. There was so much tension in the air you could have cut it with a knife. Michael and Jeremy were locked in position, staring at each other, trying to work out the mess of their thoughts. 

This vacation fucking sucked. 

Jeremy got up and walked off, without looking behind, without seeing the hurt on Michael’s face. He didn’t want to see it. He wandered into the communal bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him.


End file.
